taken with nikon-f
i've just come back from a long trip.
while i've been trying to get back to my normal life, i was hit by someone anonymous's thoughtless comments left here.
they were filled with malice i thought, so i remove those.
or now i think i shouldn't have done that, because they told some kind of truth.
but it really hurt me.
they said that my english is terribly bad as i've lived in the u.s. for 9 years.
then it suggested that i should use some translating method and left a link to some web page.
i don't know exactly if 2 comments that hurt me were made by same person or not.
also i can't tell if they were made by a serious thought or just because he wanted to hurt me without any reason but pleasure, or it might have been for his business.
anyway i felt so sad when i read them.
i know that my english is not good, and that's why i started this blog.
i've been trying to learn and improve my english all the time since i started living in the u.s..
to tell the truth, i'm still not confident with my english at all.
so could you imagine that blogging in english is very hesitating for me.
as it is, i still enjoy learning english at this place by blogging something i love the most in my usual life.
the anonymous guy ( or girl) told that he (she) is originally from the other country than the u.s. and his (her) native tongue is not english.
so his (her) english used to leave 2 comments was also bad.
i don't know if all these were true or just made up.
the most saddest thing made me feel very bad is this.
this person knows how people feel anxious and afraid to manage the language that is not native.
so i can say that the thing that hurt me most is not that i was told that my english is very bad ( because i've already noticed that), but the truth that such a sad person came by and left its malice here.
i'm so sorry that i've been telling you this deep and sad thought today.
i just wanted to share this instead of hiding.
i don't know if i was right that i removed those 2 comments.
anyway, thank you for listening to me.
i feel much better now.
btw, i've been considering how to make my usual life after i came back to home from a trip.
usually while i'm on a trip, i don't use a pc at all.
and that makes me feel so good.
originally i'm not a techy person and i've been thinking i should concentrate more on my real life for these months.
so, i might quit some of the activities in pc than my original japanese blog "flower child".
the more place i have to check in, the more time i have to use before a pc.
speaking of the cooperative photography website with my husband, that's o.k. because i don't update that so often.
i really want to keep this place for my english study, but i can't exactly tell how i'm gonna do about it.
so, please don't worry that i'm terribly hit by this time's incident even though i quit here.
i'll tell you my dicision later.
see you soon.
12 comments:
That is just terrible. People use the anonymity of the internet to be mean, which is sad. Don't let one (or two) nasty people get you down. I always look forward to your blog postings. I like your musings on life and love your photos.
Sorry to hear about what happened. I hope you don't stop posting on your blog. If it wasn't in English, I wouldn't be able to read the thoughts that you put alongside your lovely pictures. I don't think online translators help - in fact, sometimes they make the sentences sound even worse. If you'd like any help, I'd be happy to give you some!
don't be upset by your english. you write well enough and people can understand you and that's what is important. it's not important for you to have perfect english because it is not your native language. i know several people who have lived in the u.s. for over 20 years and their english is still not that great, but they can be understood and that it what matters. if you don't want such malicious comments and negativity on your blog, then it is your right to take it down.
i've missed your entries lately and look forward to having them back :)
>clairhelene, thank you for your warm words and kind heart as always :)
yes, i don't like such people who abuse anonymity either.
i believe that people should be more careful and more polite in this internet world, because we can't see our faces and eyes each other.
unfortunately there are a lot of people who don't notice this important thing.
i'll try to be strong as much as i can about this time's incident.
thank you again for your comforting :))
>y, thank you for leaving your kind comment :)
when i use english i always try to think that it is most important that i want to express myself and have communication with people.
if i think speaking and writing in english perfectly is the most important, then i dare not to do that.
2 comments that i talked about in this post seemed to compel me to do that, so i feel so sad.
you're right, if i don't write in english here, we wouldn't get to know each other.
i think this is enough for me.
people who really want to get to know me try to understand me even though my english is bad, don't they?
so, thank you that you wanted to know me :))
>jennifer, thank you for such a kind consideration for me and my language problem.
i've always thought that the impulse and the passion to express myself to someone are the most important thing as you told me.
sometimes i'm so discouraged by my english and want to go back to my country where i can speak without much effort.
but soon after that thought, i realize that i'm not right with that kind of negative thinking.
understanding somone and being understood by someone are just not about the language problem, aren't they?
thank you very much for encouraging me with those reassuring words.
you warmed my heart so enough :))
I love your English. It is like I hear you talking out loud, very personal. Some people don't achieve that even though they are native speakers.
I'm trying to learn Japanese, and if I ever speak that language as well as your English, I'm very happy :)
And I think it is good you removed those comments, they are like graffiti over the walls of your house.
Take care.
oh, i'm one of your silent admirer here.. i always love reading your love letter at the end of your entry.. and you write really well. there's something about your photos and words that i found myself to keep coming back here.
hope you'll stay. :)
oh, i'm one of your silent admirer here.. i always love reading your love letter at the end of your entry.. and you write really well. there's something about your photos and words that i found myself to keep coming back here.
hope you'll stay. :)
Hello timily-san,
If he/she has been a native speaker, I bet it hadn't bothered him/her that much.
Well...allow me to tell you a little of myself, I was teaching Japanese language few years ago to Italian people, for me all the thing I needed them was, Keep Tring to EXPRESS, but students were always teased each other's little mistakes.
Imagine when the foreign people speak Japanese...! you would never care about the little incorrection.
My English is more confusing, (as you can see by now...hehehe...) even myself can't understand, but it also happens in Japanese, and sometimes English does describe what I want to, more than Japanese, (actually I tried but never could post comments in Japanese..! uhhh.)
I love your sensively expressive words, and photos....
With a little Strength from the sun to Tomily,
putting on a calm wind...
I have been away for a while so haven't been reading your blog as often as I had been. When I saw this post I really felt for you. I read your post BECAUSE of your amazing way with language. Your love letters/poetry in each post are so beautifully written, they show a real relationship with language that few people have, native speaker or otherwise. They remind me to see the world in a way that I love, getting such joy out of the small things. They always make me smile. Thank you for your blog and I hope you never give it up!
>dear everyone who understood me and encouraged me a lot.
i really appreciate your kindness and sweetness.
i'm just glad that i had the opportunity that i got all your favor.
and i'm so sorry that i write you back this late.
of course, i read all of your comment long before, and i thanked a lot.
now i feel better and better with your supports.
i know that i have to be patient with my poor english skill.
i'm still often disappointed and tired of my english, but i don't give up.
you all taught me the reason why i have to keep on.
i couldn't have had these warm relationship with you all without english :))
so, thank you again.
i'll keep and enjoy this place for now :)
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