it didn't make it like that way.

(taken with nikon f on fuji superia 400)

hi.
August has just arrived, and i'm very happy that i 'm making the month's first post this early.
this must be a big credit for me this month.

i told you last friday that i was very excited with having a personal dinner party.
and i had that.
in the way i had not expected.
i kind of knew that sometimes something goes in that (unexpeceted) way.

i had a very simple meal under the fluorescent light in my small kitchen.
on a beige kitchen counter top, under the 2 a-yard-long fluorescent light bars not under an elegant chandelier i dreamt of.
how does it sound?
kind of pity, isn't it?

i wasn't really supposed to have a one-person dinner party under the chandelier which i posted last (actually it's from one of my most favorite cafes in town), but i was just in the mood of having a elegant dinner, like almost all elegant dinner parties are supposed to be held under the pretty chandelier, by myself because my husband wasn't home and i was off duty (fixing something good for him).
it was not bad, but not good, too.
it was just ok.
and i thought that this kind of personal dinner party is ok every once in a while, as i really don't know how to enjoy that freedom.
it was just awkward to indulge in.
all i did was that i imagined how he would say about this too much fibrous romain lettuce, how he would like the hard boiled egg put atop with cheese and baked on a curry flavored gratin, how he would enjoy cold beer with that hot dish for his dinner on the very last weekday, and so on.
i kept on imagining " how he would...." and ate mine at a kitchen counter under the fluorescent light with TV which aired local news.
again, it was not bad, but not good, too.

to tell the truth, i don't dislike the fluorescent light in my kitchen at all.
i rather find something congenial with that.
could you think of the light type in the kitchen hall beyond the big swinging doors all the backward of a fancy restraunt?
yes, fluorescent.
it has a nuance of being more close to food and being not a customer but a chef.
so, for one thing, i like that because i feel comfy under that light.
and second, eating at a kitchen counter under the fluorescent light makes me feel i'm engaging in something not formal.
for me, sitting at the dining table under the incandescent light which cast mild and polite brightness elegantly on the table is something formal.
i like eating something on a floor, on a sofa and at a kitchen counter.

so, in regard to the cause of unsuccessful one-person dinner party, what should be discussed here is not about a fluorescent light or a kitchen counter, but just a number of the attendants.

i think now you all understand why i told you that the party was not bad, but not good, too.


oh, i want to mention about the picture above.
it was taken last autumn, not this year.
figs are one of my most favorite fruits. ( in top picture, they were cut into slices of crescent moon shape and bedded on a bowl of plain yogurt.)
recently i found them at a co-op store in my town!
i hardly help putting them in my shopping basket, but i did somehow.
it looked not to be in a best season to be eaten yet.
i'm telling myself i should wait for a while till i'm going to be able to smell the scent of autumn in the air.
when is the time coming!!

i'm sorry that today's main topic and the photo don't match each other.
maybe i should've made two different posts for each topics.


have a nice start of the week!